Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
