I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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