We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
