The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
