One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
