Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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