you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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