Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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