Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
