whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
