meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
