I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
