Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
