HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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