I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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