Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
