VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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