stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
