The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
