So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize