I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
