He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
