We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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