Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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