my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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