i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
