Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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