I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
