the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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