You work out of a Hotel?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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