I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
