then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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