her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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