i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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