You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You are a booty call, not a friend.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
