let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
