I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
