let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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