just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
