brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You're like the curious george of whores
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
