Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
