Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
