Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
