careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I've blown a few things in my day
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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