The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
