He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
