even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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