Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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