Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you had me at cake vodka
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
