I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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