Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize