And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
