they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
