She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
