And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I looked at my own cervix.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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