A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
